Day 50: Almost time for our first experiment

As you can probably guess by the title, we have our first tomorrow. We even made builds of our experiments. Am I nervous? Hecks yeah!!!! What if I forget something? What if I say something stupid? What if my data goes bad because I didn’t delete the garbage files? There are so many things that can go bad, but at the same time, I’M A FREAKING SCIENTIST!!!!!!!!!! You know those guys who carry a clipboard while you do stuff? That’s me! I wish I had a lab coat, but I’m not doctory enough to have one. I think I might wear a white dress shirt. White tops always mean that you are the authority and that you can boss people around. Why am I in charge of so much power?!?!!?!??!?!!??!??!?!!??!?!!? I never knew that I would actually run an experiment and it’s kind of cool. I still wish I had a lab coat. Why couldn’t I have a lab coat? Actually, our mentor says it’s stupid when experimenters wear them because it doesn’t mean they’re more qualified. Maybe they’ll think of me that way when they see my dress shirt. You know what, worst case scenario, I’m wearing a white tee.

Today, we had a pretty cool guest lecturer. First of all, he is RIPPED. Why are all of the Mechanical Engineering professors so buff? Maybe I should be a mechanical engineer professor so that I can be buff. Aside from that, he’s a deputy and scuba diver. He said he showed that using VR for welding schools is cheaper, and sometimes more effective than doing real welding. The only downside was that some people didn’t appreciate the costs of the materials since virtual materials are cheap. He also made an expanding capsule (patented) that’s used for nasal tubes that go to your stomach. The idea is that the end would be stuck so deep in your throat that your esophagus muscles automatically swallow the capsule (along with the tube) and go to your stomach. It’s used for dementia patients who fight doctors. Also, one experiment had people going around and shooting guns. Another cool thing about him is that he traveled around the world for two years. He even worked as a longshoreman in China. Funny thing was that his coworkers were from Taiwan. He also went to Iceland and worked as a bouncer in Johannesburg. Also, one shift had him working at 3:00 AM in case he needed to restart a script. At least he watched I Love Lucy. Fun fact: meth heads will lie to you within a few seconds because they are so drugged out. Personally, The Wolf of Wall Street (the book, not the movie) already convinced me not to do drugs, but I’ll take what I can get. Lastly, road construction doesn’t take long because of the roads. It takes a long time because of the pipes that run underneath the roads.

The last thing I want to rant about is barbershops. Did you know you need appointments? I didn’t. Near my house, you could walk in at any time and just wait your turn. Do these barbers not want money? I guess not, which is fine because it’s their business, but I need a haircut. Seriously, why is my hair so long? I’m thinking of just getting a pair of scissors and cutting it myself, but I did that one time and it was bad. I felt a little better, but I also felt bad. Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why do I have to be cursed with long, beautiful, flowing hair? I probably won’t ask that when I’m going bald. I’m kidding, I’m never going bald. You can look at my dad to confirm that. Anyways, I’m nervous, my hair is long, I lost my glasses yesterday and I don’t know where it is since I asked and no one turned in anything at UDCC, and I’m going to have to fake being a scientist. I don’t know what song I’ll have to use, or what TV show, but I hope that I can fake something. I’m great at faking stuff. It’s lying, but to yourself. Trust me, I’m great at lying. I even lie to myself. It’s a very useful skill to have, as long as you can use it correctly. One day, I can even be president. Wish me luck tomorrow, and Goodnight, San Francisco. Que Dios nos bendiga.

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