I had my final today for the Intro to Systems class today and just received my grade (it’s so weird how scared I get when I check my grades! Also strange how quickly teachers can grade tests. Having heart palpitations). I did fairly well! Worst case scenario, I’ll make an A- in the class. I might actually be a peer mentor if I can crank out a working explicit free-list memory allocator in the span of two nights (I might have to pull an all-nighter tomorrow to get that working, though). I’m doing my art history final tonight; it involves so much writing. I’m still very tired, but the end is in sight, and I’m hopeful. I can honestly say that the stress of doing classwork/finals and REU work has been worth what I’m receiving from this REU. I hope that my past two weeks of bleak blogs doesn’t discourage Stephen and Eliot from taking in other students under the quarter system the following years; even though it’s been tough, I’ve felt incredibly productive the past week, and I think I’m learning a lot.
Today, we learned how to use SolidWorks. I’m pretty terrible at it, but I just started learning, and I feel like my incompetency is driving me to want do 3D modeling. We also had an hour meeting with Dr. Stone and Tom again; they gave us a new drone to program (looking at the code, it’ll be pretty simple to hack into it). This meeting leaned much more serious that the previous ones, and I’m starting to feel the pressure ramp up. They questioned all of us on our coding backgrounds. Despite having taken more than a few CS courses, I feel incredibly deficient as a programmer, and I’m wondering if this is just imposter syndrome or if I’m actually accurately judging my coding abilities. It took me about 4 years to get good at art, and I’m into year 2 of programming. Do I actually have to work two more years before I feel like a competent programmer? That seems like a long time to be mired in self doubt.
My final art history essay is going to be about art and truth.