Hello again. When we started the program, Eliot warned us that there might be a point in the first few weeks when we might think, “what am I doing here?” I was hoping he wouldn’t be right, but now I’m asking myself that question. I thought I would be honest about it, as to avoid writing a fake blog post.

Why do I feel like this? Well, I think it started with the C++ training, and my lack of understanding any of the concepts. I think I would feel better about this if I just “clocked out,” and stopped caring about having to learn the language. I’m not going to do that. I’m not even sure why I won’t consider it an option at all, but I suppose that’s a good thing. I am still trying, and I know I will continue to try, despite my feeling bad about it. I need to find a resource where I can learn C++ without being on a completely different level than the rest of the interns. I’m also going to try to figure out what I could use C++ for down the road.

I was also having thoughts along the lines of “what am I doing here?” this morning. We had blocks of unstructured time, and I felt aimless. I drew out some concepts of virtual environments, but I’m still self-conscious about my drawing skills, so I might not present them at the project meeting today. I did organize some of my thoughts and observations from the research on paper, which I found helpful. I still feel limited with my ideas, however. There must be a lot more variety of virtual environments that we could test, and it baffles me that I can’t think of very many.

At the Luncheon Lecture, Evrim Baran, an expert on learning technologies, spoke to us. Interestingly enough, she was delighted to hear of my major, as she had minored in Industrial Design as an undergraduate. One of the insights she had is: that of all the courses she took in undergrad, she learned the most by designing products. Throughout her presentation, I saw how she used Industrial Design in her professional life, even as a specialist in education technology. She helps her students from all sorts of disciplines learn about how to integrate technology effectively into their curriculum.

I had hoped by the end of this post, I would find some profound conclusion to my initial problem, “what am I doing here?”, but I haven’t found it. I’ve only thought of some steps I should take. I need to give myself time to adjust to this new environment and figure out what more I need to do for my project.