I’d love to say that growing up was the easiest thing I’ve done, that school felt like a breeze, life always felt comfortable, and I never had to worry about what the future holds for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to say it, but it just wouldn’t be true. My parents came from 2 completely separate countries and both never got a proper education which ultimately resulted in many hardships leaving their families and coming to America when they were my age.

1 in 50,000 babies every year are diagnosed with Cri du chat syndrome. My sister is a 1 in 50,000, and I didn’t realize it at the time, but growing up in a household where my mom couldn’t pursue her american dream because of always having to take care of my sister and my dad was always working to keep us afloat was very unique. Ever since I can remember, I was always being put in front of those chock-full children’s learning books with seemingly endless pages on math, reading, writing, and more. My mom used to leave the house and told me I couldn’t play on my playstation 2 until I did 15 full pages of the book that she assigned me, and I did do them……….by flipping to the end and copying the answers…(I ended up in big trouble and ended up doing even more pages with no playstation, so at least that was a lesson learned). Although I hated it then, I thank my mom for it now, because doing so many of those books allowed me to get into kindergarten one year earlier than I should’ve (Born after September 1st rule).

I could take this time to go over my life in elementary school and middle school and blah blah blah who cares. I want to flash forward to my life after covid and into high school, where I was about the age I could start helping my dad in his jobs with his HVAC business. It absolutely sucked, I remember the hot days where him and I would have to bust our asses putting in condensers and furnaces, air handlers and heat pumps, relining pipes and ductwork, and then when we were finally done, we would have to go home and take apart all the old equipment to take to the scrapyard. I truly have not been more grateful in my life to have the opportunity to get my ass busted like that, because god did that whip me into shape to take school even more seriously than I have ever. Those tough days gave me perspective, seeing how hard my dad worked, how much he gave up to give to me, how much he carried, and for that I’ll forever be grateful.

While my home life shaped one side of me, my time in school shaped the other. After quarantine, the outgoing and bubbly version of Jake turned into a closed off, shy, and reserved version instead. My lunchtimes were spent working on homework from my AP classes and getting as ahead as I possibly could just to make sure I could have enough time at home to help take care of my sister and teach my brother.

College was no better, my freshman year was spent doing as much as I could for my classes and never truly went outside of my comfort zone and socialized or joined a community. I always ended up prioritizing my classes and despite telling myself the summer before “I’m gonna talk to people”, “I’m gonna get out of my shell”, and many other self-affirming statements, I really didn’t grow as much as I had hoped, yet my grades were good. That was before I had my first office hour session with my calculus 3 professor, Dr. Kolesnikov, and it was him who taught me about what REU’s are. Fast forward a few months and plenty of rejections, I got an email back from one Sarah Pippin saying I got into this program, and accepting it was the best thing I have ever done.

Throughout my entire life, I have always been pressured and motivated to always do the best and be the best while I always never felt like I was ever doing enough. Life has always been moving so fast, that is until I got here, and I’ve truly gotten the first chance to slow down and take a step back and look at everything I’ve done. I’m the first in my family to graduate from high school. The first in my family to go to college. The first in my family to go to an REU. The first in my family to take steps towards a comfortable life where my dad won’t ever need to replace another furnace in his life. Where my mom won’t have to always worry about my siblings or paying for another child’s college. Where my sister won’t ever be in a nursing home because of her condition and will be able to live a happy long life in my house. Where my brother won’t have to apply to only 3 colleges because of application fees and overall cost and will be able to go wherever he wishes to. Where I will look back at how my family came from nothing but empty pockets, broken English, and sleepless nights, then look around and see the life I built because of them.

With a family history of struggles and hardships, I’ve learned that love doesn’t always sound like “I love you.” Sometimes, it sounds like the hum of a heat pump being installed on a 95 degree day. My mom quietly putting away dinner and cleaning when everyone is done. My sister laughing at the silly jokes and games I play with her when no one else has the time to. Or my brother running to give me a hug whenever I come home from college. This life and my journey throughout it is my silent thank you to them. For every moment they gave me more than they had, and for every dream they buried so I could dream mine.

I carry each of their sacrifices in every single step I take forward. Every late night spent studying, each new job opportunity I take, and every opportunity I chase, it’s not just for me. It’s for the little boy flipping to the back of the book for the answers to play on his playstation 2 a little faster. For the dad who lifted countless equipment with battered and calloused hands. For the mom who traded her dreams for her children. For the sister who never once asked for the pain life gave her. And for the brother who’s still watching, quietly believing to himself that if I can make it, then maybe he can too. I don’t just want to succeed, I need to, because I’m the product of everything they gave up. Their sacrifices are what built me, their pain is what shaped me, and their love is what motivated me, and now it’s my turn to break the chain.