I’m always surprised by how many times I can survive a day without ever letting myself go through a nervous breakdown. The symposium was an amazing experience. Even though I almost never knew what I was saying, I still tried my hardest alongside Kris and Curtis to present our research and to answer questions people had. Some even tested our text-based prototype, and simply hearing them laugh as they read through it was enough to fill me with joy. I’ve never written a story before, so I’m glad people were able to have some fun with it. I know some have said I did a good job at speaking, but I guess I’m just too hard on myself, not wanting to let myself be limited by any struggle. Nonetheless, the one thing that I’ll take away from this experience is the fact that I wasn’t alone. I saw almost everyone from VRAC come down to see us. Even those on slack who couldn’t make it still felt like they were here. I’m glad Jorge, Hila, and Ani were able to come as well to see all the hard work we did together as a team. Most of all, I had the other 8 interns by my side. Their presence alone was enough to make me feel like I belong.
I have to admit. The interviews where we recap our experiences were the one thing that prevented me from accepting the program invitation right away, but I somehow managed to do it. After learning that there was a teleprompter, I quickly wrote a script of what I wanted to say. It made the first interview very doable; though, at first I couldn’t help but notice the camera to the side revealing my face. I realize I tend to smile a lot, so much so that I try to hide it, but I smile too spontaneously that it feels hopeless to control it. In the end, I know it’s just me naturally finding some joy out of anything and maintaining the positive attitude that my aunt has always taught me. Then came the second interview. I was not expecting a group interview, so I was completely lost at what was about to happen as I kicked my legs back and forth waiting in my chair for Curtis and Kris to come in. I felt like an actor wearing fancy clothes in a Youtube video, talking about their experiences on set while sitting next to their peers. As Paul worked on getting everything set up, Curtis and Kris began talking, joking about how we should introduce ourselves and what we should say about each other. Just hearing their voices made me happy and gave me the chance to relax a bit. Still, I don’t really know what I said, but I know it was not what I wanted to say, so I’ll end my blog by writing to you two.
Curtis, I admire your confidence and the joy you gain from talking to people. You’re a natural talent when it comes to presenting, and when tasks come your way, you’re determined to get it done as soon as possible. I’ll always value how you remain true to yourself and how you don’t let anything stop you from enjoying life to the fullest. But most of all, I appreciate your deep consideration for others. If it wasn’t for you, I may not have experienced a summer as memorable and as welcoming as this one. Thank you for also being “my partner in crime” and taking me to experience a whole new side of life, and thank you for acknowledging any concerns Kris and I may have had. I’m glad you were a part of our team as you not only cared for us but also pushed us out of our comfort zones. (also… I always found your eye rolls funny when I said something dumb… on purpose lol)
Kris, you’re a fantastic, resourceful artist with the ability to turn any kind of imagination into reality. You are kind, empathetic, and thoughtful, and your laugh is so infectious, that it immediately fills my heart with joy. I’m inspired by your ability to remain strong through obstacles, and above all, I’m thankful to have had someone as caring as you. I really appreciate all the times you asked me if I was doing okay, and yes, I’ll always say that I am okay even if it may not be true, but the simple fact that you asked was enough to make me feel validated. You’re charismatic and vibrant, and I’ll always remember all the small things we did to have some fun during work, whether it be discussing the logo for our game, watching a random funny YouTube video in sign language, translating words from several languages back to English, or even reading through a dissertation paper. Also, I’m glad you have someone like Jake. He makes you happy, and if you’re happy, I’m happy.
I’ll miss you both dearly and everyone else that I was fortunate enough to meet.
I’ll forever cherish my time here.